Unfolding Our Thoughts and Powers

The belligerent reality of intrusive thoughts and what most self-help gurus won’t tell you

We nourished positive thoughts; we meditated and exercised. We even made a vision board. But now it feels as if we haven’t moved an inch. Doubt starts to creep in. Those manifestations seem far away. Did that sex magic have any effect at all? Are twin flames even real?

It is true that our thoughts shape our reality. That shouldn’t even be controversial – the way you think about circumstances or events in your life creates how you feel about those circumstances or events. But that doesn’t mean that there are no objectively positive or negative circumstances. Not having enough money is a circumstance that has little to do with your thoughts about it. Most would deem that objectively negative, as we typically need money to live our lives, pay rent, buy food, and perhaps occasionally indulge in small excesses.

If you become the victim of a crime, that would also objectively be regarded as a negative event. Your thoughts did not, by themselves, create the negativity associated with such an event. However, having thoughts about what it would be like to experience a crime would create similar negative emotions, even where no real crime has been experienced. Similarly, having thoughts about not having enough money to pay rent, the car, or any other non-materialised circumstance would create negative emotions – regardless of whether you are actually able to pay your rent or not.

But that doesn’t mean there is no real fear in the fear of being exposed to a crime or fear of not having enough money to pay your rent in the future. In fact, sometimes those could be very valid and well-founded concerns.

I often feel that self-help gurus and spiritual teachers don’t really get to the bottom of this. While it’s true that most of our suffering – like the day-to-day overthinking of things that might go wrong – is mostly a product of our own thoughts. In my experience, that’s not the whole picture of suffering from intrusive thoughts. I love Eckhart Tolle, and his works have definitely changed my life for the better. Coming back to the present moment is a great relief from the stress of having thoughts racing through your head all day.

But here’s the thing that most spiritual teachers miss or fail to acknowledge: if you have a strained financial situation, those intrusive thoughts will likely haunt you every time the rent is due – regardless of how much time you spend being aware of the present moment.

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The belligerent reality of your intrusive thoughts is that you live in a world where fear is a very real thing. This means that your suffering is most likely the combination of your “imaginary” fears created by your own thoughts and “factual” fears created by real circumstances or events. The problem is that most spiritual teachers will only focus on the imaginary fears created by your own thoughts while neglecting real circumstances.

If you manage to overcome the imaginary fears, you have resolved 50% of your problems. That’s obviously good, but it’s far from satisfactory for most of us. Consequently, I believe that it’s necessary to deal with both the imaginary fears as well as the factual fears. Starting with identifying the imaginary fears makes sense, as you will also more easily identify the factual fears once the imaginary has been identified. Taking the time to manage the imaginary fears will also create room for dealing with the factual fears. Thus, using present-moment techniques or similar methods to manage the anxiety associated with imaginary fears is a good first step.

However, it will do little to resolve the factual fears. And here’s the hard part – no one but you will resolve the factual fears. This is where things get difficult for most people. You will have to take actual command of your factual fears. If you have financial difficulties, these will have to be resolved by you. If you have trauma from a past event, you will have to deal with that trauma, seek professional help if needed. If you’re living in a dysfunctional relationship, you will have to end that relationship, and so on. It’s time to take action and create the life you want to live - and you are the only one that can make that happen.

My feeling is that this is where most of us get stuck. We did all the steps the self-help literature told us. We nourished positive thoughts; we meditated and exercised. We even made a vision board. But now it feels as if we haven’t moved an inch. Doubt starts to creep in. Those manifestations seem far away. Did that sex magic have any effect at all? Are twin flames even real?

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But here’s the twist – after all, this is where you really need to use the power of your thoughts. Let me explain!

I call it factual fear, but it could really just be any factual problem in your life. A struggling relationship is perhaps not fearful per se, however, the effects of ending that relationship could obviously feel frightening – how it will affect your children, your friends and family, and so on. Not to mention any financial stress that could very well be the factual result of ending a financially imbalanced relationship.

Before any action comes thought. And here’s why that thought becomes so important and powerful: because here you have the chance of setting the right intention. I’m not focusing on leaving a relationship – I’m focusing on creating the life I want to live. Start with thought but end with action. Many of us, yours truly included, are great at thinking but not as good when it comes to actually taking action.

Manifesting your dream job is easy. Finding the dream job and submitting your application is tougher. For your manifestations to materialise, you will have to take action. You have to put yourself out there. Expose yourself to the universe in order for it to do its magic.

If you live in an area where you don’t feel safe, you have to move. You must create the life you want to live. But it’s important to acknowledge that this isn’t always easy. As I tried to explain in my article Relationships, most relationships aren’t black or white, toxic or non-toxic. Most bad relationships are somewhere in between and may fluctuate over time. A gray zone reality. It’s way more difficult in reality to know exactly what to do in a certain situation – we are left to our own intuition, experience, and good judgement.

You will need to keep a positive mind through tough decisions. You will probably not get it right all the time. You will question yourself; you will doubt the decisions taken; you may even regret some of them. Be prepared that this is what much of life is about – navigating tough moral dilemmas.

I don’t know why some self-help gurus tend to make things seem so easy when they are, in fact, more complicated. Of course, if you tell someone that it’s going to be tough, you run the risk that people will simply not make the necessary changes in their lives. Still, I think it’s important to acknowledge the tough and complex parts of change as well. The difficult aspects of growing. The rough sections of the spiritual path. The challenges.

Because real growth lies within this: taking action even where it’s truly difficult. Accepting that mistakes will happen. Moving on regardless of the factual fear.

Now we are talking about true transformation – real spiritual growth.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!